FACING DOWN THE FEAR OF REJECTION

 

It is amazing how many rigors the body can endure. It is a resilient piece of apparatus. Consider the strength of the human mind. It can grapple with many issues and can out think a computer. It can perform many different functions simultaneously. Consider human emotions. Our emotions are extremely flexible.

However, there is one blow that few of us can sustain. We avoid it at all costs. Its name is REJECTION! It is a shock so powerful that it threatens to overwhelm all the resiliency of our physical and emotional beings. It will wipe a smile off your face. It will stoop your shoulders and will buckle your knees. Rejection will rob you of your energy. It will cause depression and strip you of your joy. Repudiation will snap your mind and break your heart.

Jesus knew what rejection was all about. "He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him." (John 1:11) Rejection is prevalent around us. Men and women and children of divorce are living with the deep pain of rejection and disapproval. Rejection happens on the playgrounds of our schools where children endure the taunts of other children. I can still recall an incident in my own life when some of us were playing football during a recess period. I was in seventh grade. One of the boys who were an excellent athlete threw the ball to me and I caught it for a touch down. "He caught it!" "He caught it!" Everyone shouted with amazement. What a thrill and personal victory I experienced that day. After I caught the ball a boy named Marvin said to me, "You ain't no good, Anthony." "You ain't no good." That boy sucked all the air out of my balloon.

Some people reach out to the family of God and we greet them with rejection because they aren't like us. How Sad! Who gives a rip about people who are out on the fringe of society? Who cares about kids who come from broken homes, sinful lives and its alienating results? We don't want anything to do with them because it will give us an unwanted reputation. Like the Priest and the Levite in the parable of the Good Samaritan we pass by on the other side and leave them in a ditch to die without the Lord. Jesus reached out to people on the fringe of society. He came to seek and to save those who are lost. We must do the same.

I. God created us to live in fellowship with Himself and other people. John said, "We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. (1 John 1:3) Here are two kinds of fellowship. One with other believers and the other with Jesus Christ. He created us for fellowship. Paul said, consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household. (Eph. 2:19)

Paul stresses this about the church, which is the body of Christ. When we reject someone in the church because they are different we are splintering the body of Christ. Many people who come to church are bearing the scars of rejection.

Do you know someone in our church that you feel uncomfortable with or don't like because they are different than you? Many of Paul's letters stress the importance of loving, accepting, and building up one another.

(1 Cor. 12:24-26)

There are at least three definable states of rejection. First, there is self-pity. It is a feeling of sorrow or loss and feeling sorry for oneself. It is a feeling of hopelessness and pity. This moves quickly to a stage of self-preservation or sour grapes. We deny the rejection. We take the attitude that it doesn't really matter anyway So what's the loss? I'll just forget it and go on with my life. After sour grapes have run its course a third and more serious level unfolds. It is bitterness. Most of the time we can trace bitterness to feelings of rejection. The Bible says, "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (Heb. 12:14,15)

If we don't deal with bitterness the next step is vengeance. I'll get even, that person will get what they deserve. This attitude is extremely damaging. It eats as a cancer until the rejected people are prisoners of their own hatred. This root of bitterness is stubborn. Only God can remove it by His power. It's much like pulling dandelions.

If we try to pull a dandelion out of the ground we think we have the whole root. However, even if a small part of a root remains the dandelion will grow again. Friends all the root of bitterness must be extracted. We need some spiritual roundup applied to kill the whole root. Unless we give complete forgiveness for rejection, that root will spring up again and cause much trouble. We will negatively affect our relationships and many people will be affected.

II. The Love of God is the greatest remedy for rejection. Jesus came to His own and they rejected him and nailed Him to a cross. Jesus loved us so much that he died for the very ones who rejected Him. This kind of self-sacrificing love is the only force that can defeat the bitterness and vengeance of rejection. (John 1:11)

In his syndicated radio program "the rest of the story," Paul Harvey tells what can happen when a person perseveres under the fear of rejection. He called it "The story of a loser." When the loser was a little boy, other kids called him Sparky after a comic strip horse named Spark Plug. Sparky never did shake that nickname.

School was all but impossible for Sparky. He failed every subject in 8th grade. He flunked physics in high school. He characterized himself as the worst physics student who ever lived. He also flunked Latin, Algebra, and English. He didn't do much better in sports. He did manage to make the golf team but he lost the most important match of the year. He even lost his consolation match.

No one would say hello to him inside or outside the school. There was no way he could predict how he would do in dating. In high school he never did date anyone because he was too afraid of being rejected. Sparky was a loser and everyone knew it.

There was one thing he loved to do and that was drawing. He was quite proud of his artwork. Of course no one else appreciated it. On one occasion he submitted a cartoon to the high school yearbook committee. However, the committee promptly rejected it. Sparky believed he wanted to be a professional artist, In spite his rejection. Sparky finally graduated from high school. He wrote a letter to Disney studios. He submitted some artwork at their request. Disney rejected it and it was just another loss for the loser.

So, Sparky wrote his own autobiography in cartoons. He described his childhood self, the boy loser, the constant under achiever. It was a cartoon character that soon became famous around the world. The boy who failed in just about everything, whose work was rejected over and over again was "Sparky, Charles, Monroe Schulz. He created the Peanuts comic strip, the boy whose kite would never fly, Charlie Brown.

Peanuts and Charlie brown became so popular because we can all identify with Him. Each one of us has experienced the fear of rejection. Jesus knows what rejection is all about. The Bible tells us that he is the stone that the builders rejected. "He came unto his own and his own did not receive him." When we remember that we realize that His love for us is the greatest remedy for rejection.

III. God expects us to help those who are being rejected. There is another dimension to this. Not only is God's love a great remedy for rejection but it is also our love and support for one another that helps overcome the fear of rejection.

Christ also calls upon us to walk down the road of forgiveness and grace for those who have rejected us. For example, the Lord commissioned Paul to be the greatest Christian ambassador the world has ever known. Had it not been for Barnabas who knew what limitations kept Paul from fulfilling his mission, it might have been another story. When the early Christians rejected Paul, Barnabas stepped in. He introduced Paul into Christian ministry. Obviously, Paul forgave the early believers for their initial rejection.

It seems strange, that when Paul and Barnbas were ready to go on their second missionary journey that Paul rejected John Mark. He would not allow him to go because Mark had bailed out during the first missionary journey. It must have been a terrible blow to John Mark nevertheless; Barnabas stepped into the situation once again. He took young John Mark under his wing. Later Paul had to admit that John Mark was profitable in the ministry. "Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry." (2 Tim. 4:11) Consider the importance of Barnabas ministry. Without his interdiction there might have never been a gospel of Mark.

Look around you right now. Do you know people in your life, work, and church who suffer from the pain of rejection? Ask yourself, what kind of future might they have if you could be their advocate? Will you be the one who stands in the gap? Will you be the one who paves the way for their acceptance?

There are young people whose peers have never accepted them. Kids who always feel the pain of rejection. What might happen in their lives and their future if you played the role of a Barnabas? Will you play the role of an encourager and say to that someone, I believe in you, I'll stand up for you, I'll be your friend.

The prayer of our hearts should be make me a servant, humble and meek, Lord, let me lift up those who are weak. And may the prayer of my heart always be; Make me a servant, make me a servant, Make me a servant today.

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